


Exhausted

by notjustmom



Series: Doodahs and Whatnots [48]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Sherlock's return
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 16:00:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: “Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.”― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned





	1. Chapter 1

He had no claim on his old life, no expectations of a return to what he had before, he had no right to think he could be forgiven, and yet, as he climbed the seventeen steps for the first time in over two years, a memory wafted towards him. John, or someone, no, it could only be John, was cooking that thing with peas, which meant, it meant he was expected somehow. 

No. 

That wasn't possible. 

He leaned against the wall, just a step short of crossing back into - into what? He didn't know, and his ability to care, or even to think was short-circuiting, as if he were, in actuality, a machine, as John had hissed at him just before he had confronted Moriarty on the roof. Stop. Focus on getting up the stairs. Just move. He closed his eyes as the door to the flat opened. He was afraid to open his eyes, afraid to see whatever it was in John's face, in his eyes.

"Hey." A soft voice was at his ear, gentle hands helped him away from the wall, strong arms lifted him and carried him the rest of the way, over the threshold, through the sitting room and into his bedroom, finally laying him down on his old bed. Again the voice was at his ear, "I'm going to take off your shoes, Sherlock, and I'm going to go finish making dinner. I'll be right back."

"John?" He opened his eyes and saw his one and only friend smiling gently at him.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Can you, just -" his words faded as his eyes closed again and he was fast asleep.

John shook his head, then leaned down and after brushing a light kiss on Sherlock's forehead, silently left the room. He turned off the burner, and moved the pot, sighing as he knew it was probably destined for the bin. He switched off the kitchen light, then walked back to the bedroom and climbed into bed, wondering if it was too soon to reach for Sherlock, when he rolled over in his sleep and draped an arm over John's hip, pulling him close.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for Purrfectlmt... I changed my mind, LOL. Never liked it that John hadn't figured it out.

Sherlock opened his eyes twelve hours later to find John curled up next to him, doing nothing but observing him. He had to have questions, and yet, he made no move to speak, there was nothing in his face that indicated any emotion, other than perhaps relief, if that were an emotion. He wasn't quite sure. He needed to say something, anything, and he opened his mouth to speak, but John placed a finger over his lips and shook his head.

"I figured it out. When you told me, 'it was just a magic trick.' You never said anything without it meaning something, guessing you were worried that Moriarty had the roof bugged somehow, you couldn't tell me what was going on. I let Mycroft know I knew, he got word to me through 'discreet channels' that you were on your way home. I've had two years to process everything, all I want to do is take care of you, if you'll let me?"

"John." He tried to roll away from him as he felt the tears stream down his face, but John reached out to brush the tangled mass of curls from his eyes, stopping any thought of movement.

"It's going to take time. I know you are in a lot of pain right now, physical and otherwise, but know that I will be here in any way you want me. I've had two years to realise, no, wrong word, I had realised before you were gone how I felt about you, I knew even before the pool, probably from the moment your brother kidnapped me - I don't know why it happened then, but I knew I would rather spend my life by your side than do anything else. I love you, and I'm not afraid to tell you any more, because it doesn't matter how you feel about me, if you just want to be friends, be as we were before, that's fine, if you want more -" John's words stuttered to a halt as he saw the look in Sherlock's eyes, a mix of relief, love and joy he couldn't ever recall seeing in his friend's eyes before. "It's okay, love," John pressed a careful kiss to Sherlock's forehead and whispered, "we have all the time in the world, rest now." John sighed as Sherlock reached out a roughly bandaged hand to brush a tear from John's cheek, then kissed him sweetly before he tucked himself against John's chest and closed his eyes again.

"I love you, too, John. Always have..."


End file.
